The warriors edge forward to another nook, taking it against the fire, then further until Andromeda can no longer see them.
From
the other direction, a small gnome with a long grey beard and a fish
for a hat carries a tiny stool and a large book.
Andromeda stares with
horror as he sets the stool down in front of her, sits and opens the
book, clearing his throat to read.
Andromeda - "No."
Fish Hat Gnome - As a very old man, "Oh Yes !"
Andromeda - "No. I don't deserve this."
Gnome - "Oh yes ! You do !"
Andromeda - After struggling uselessly to pull her head from the wall by her neck, "Fine. I can take it."
Gnome smiles beginning to read ...
________
(! Cartoon time !)
Gnome - (Voiced over) "Once upon a time, in outer space ..."
Andromeda - "What."
Gnome - Clears his throat and speaks loudly, "Once upon a time in Outer Space ..."
A bird flaps it's way through space near an asteroid belt. Behind the
birds eyes, Daphne and Cassandra work controls in rubber gloves,
surrounded by brain matter.
____
Andromeda - "They're inside it's brains. It's a spaceship that's a bird, and they're sitting in it's actual brains.
The gnome clears his throat and stares at her.
Andromeda - Trying again to pull her head from the wall, "No ! It's cool ! Space bird. Brain-pan. Continue."
The gnome furrows his brow at her and continues to read.
Gnome - "Our heroes are chased by eeeevil peasants ..."
____
Daphne - "Damn it ! It's peasants again !"
Cassandra roars and waves her arms.
Daphne - "I know ! They always want stuff. We're just going to have to lose them in those space rocks."
Cassandra waves her arms and roars, as the space bird shrieks it's turn toward the asteroids.
Daphne's voice over their turn, "Is that a shoe ?"
________
Meanwhile ~
Aboard the peasant ship, Pegasus stares angrily as the bird glides into the belt, a big band-aid 'X' over his missing horn.
Bridge officer - "Sir ! We can't possibly follow. They're asteroids."
Pegasus - "Damn."
He turns brooding from the bridge.
________
Daphne - As they turn away, "Ha ! Bitches."
Cassandra roars.
Daphne - "I know right ?"
____
Their bird nicks an asteroid, spinning it out of control.
Daphne's voice - "Your fault."
Cassandra roars as they spin, the bird shrieking toward the watery planet.
________
Andromeda - "I fucking hate you little gnome person."
Gnome - "Oh no ! You love the gnome tales ! You do you do ! Now shush."
He stares.
She stares back.
A ticking clock.
The fish stares.
Andromeda - "I fucking hate you little gnome person."
Gnome - "And they ! Splash ! into the water !"
Daphne - As the bird bobs to the surface, it's wings extended, "Are you alright Cassie ?"
Cassandra roars and kicks the wall, the bird mouth opens. They walk down it's extended tongue.
Daphne - "I don't know how we're going to fix the stupid space bird, it's like 1000 years old !"
The space bird makes a sad open mouthed groan, joined by a sad growl from Cassandra before they look around.
Daphne - "Water planet eh ... Oh Shit ! Space lady on a Narwhal, twelve o'clock !"
Cassandra roars as they pull out their bows, the narwhal approaches.
Nocturne - "Hello ... friends ... it seems your space bird is broken. I can help you ..." Her head turns slowly sideways, "... friends ..."
She stares.
They stare back.
____
Andromeda stares at the gnome.
The gnome stares back.
____
Daphne - "Sure !"
Gnome voice - "Later that very same day ..."
Nocturne - Staring at them while the work, before they slowly turn back to her with goggles, "I fixed your bird now ... and I didn't do anything weird ... friends ..."
They stare.
She stares.
Daphne - "Thanks !"
Nocturne rides away laughing on her narwhal.
Daphne - "She's nice."
Cassandra roars.
Daphne - "Hell yeah !" They laugh, "Now let's get off this dumb planet." As the bird mouth closes, "Did you ever think that a water planet is like an inside out toilet ?"
Cassandra roars.
Daphne - Voice as the bird leaves the planet, "Damn it ! The rocks are still there !"
____
Gnome - "The end."
Andromeda - "What ?!"
Gnome - "The ! End !"
He closes his book and picks up his stool, still staring, then turns and leaves.
Andromeda - Staring after him until he's gone, "I will find you, strange little gnome person. And I will make you pay ... if it's the last thing I Ever ! Do !"
Fade to black ...
(this will have been Nocturne's first appearance)
________________
('Dealer Mike' by Crust)
"! For Andromeda !"
Andromeda - Calling after, hearing their charge, "For Meeee ...!"
As the fireballs fly past they work in low using, then use the skeletons close in as cover while they hack.
____
Wilhelm runs screaming down the path with rockets flying all around.
____
Patrol
cars flip through the air while the Orson kicks and Amelia launches
drops and launches, police calling for back-up hiding in the
foreground.
____
The dragons fly over bathing all in fire,
skeleton as well as the warriors grab them used for cover. Dealer Mike
watches breathing smoke, sending electricity across the field.
____
Dice are rolled.
Daniel's chair falls backward.
Lieu Hanh shoots Mike a look, while he smiles back evilly grinning and nodding.
____
News helicopters circle as the Orson rears up with Amelia grabbing a rail, to swat barely missing, it grinds a roar.
____
Morgan and Invincinator team for a final charge to the now close wizard,
a dragon swooping from behind. A coin is flipped and a die is cast.
Vincent falls back in his chair.
Hard looks between Mike and Lieu Hanh.
____
Wilhelm is hit upside the head with a false hunk of cross and goes down, the gearworkers walking to a circle nodding.
____
The Orson turns to the arriving tanks, crouching to spring and turning its guns.
____
The next dragon swooping behind Morgan leaping forward.
The mapkeeper raises the dice hand.
The tanks turn their guns.
Kurukulla - Walks up to the circle around Wilhelm, "I want a refund."
Morgan puts her gunblade through the wizard's chest and give him a look before pulling the trigger.
Lieu Hanh - "! Bang !"
Die slowly hit the table ...
Orson's chainguns start to spin ...
Player Mike grabs his chest, chair falling backward.
His hand thrusts up a blunt.
The dragon crashes behind Morgan. The wizard's spell broken, it rises behind her, flies over and away with a roar.
Dealer
Mike - Moaning as he hands the resurrection potion (big tag) to Morgan, a giant hole in his
chest, "This ... is ... for youuuu ... and thank you ... for teaching me
... how to ... how to ... loooooooovvvvvvve ..."
He croaks with his
tongue hanging out.
Morgan - Stares a sec, shakes her head and pulls out her radio, "Amelia,
pickup." She yanks the leather bag from the wizard's side.
____
As the military gives fire orders, the Orson hops into the air and disappears with a ! Whoosh ! and thunder.
The police and military look around, lowering weapons.
The Orson reappears and lands on its feet with grinding threat. The officer in
duck tape plops on the ground, the Orson hops and gone loudly again.
________________
The sound of thunder from the opening ahead ~
Morgan and Andromeda limp to the cave's exit, Andromeda carrying a large egg.
Morgan - "Before we go ... is that ..."
Andromeda - "The one hundred percent difference between whether this was the best date night ever or the worst ? Yes it is."
Morgan
- Stopping and turning to her, she arranges a strand of Andromeda's
hair, then smiles. She leans in to kiss, "I think it'll suit you."
The players stand outside, all saying goodbye ...
Xquic - "That was fun ! Sorry we have to blow up your house now."
She flips the RPG on and points.
Lieu Hanh - "... no we don't ..."
Xquic - "Sure we do ! Ev-i-dence."
Lieu Hanh - "Evidence of what ?! For whom ?!"
Xquic - "Did you just say 'whom' ?!"
Lieu Hanh - "Whatever." She points her RPG and flips on.
Xquic - "! Whom !"
They launch, the house is destroyed.
As the gamers stare, two ropes drop unnoticed, grabbed by Lieu Hanh and Xquic before they're pulled up and gone.
The players are then startled by a large sack of Mycenaean jewels and treasure hitting the ground from above in front of them, spilling out before their wide eyes. They look at Dealer Mike.
Dealer Mike - Smiling at the destruction, takes a hit. Sees them staring, glances down at the bag and back at them, then back to the fire. "Oh yeah. I can move that."
The crew returns, and meets at Amelia's engine room door, entering excited. Inside Amelia angrily cleans Morgan's pipe, then looks up feral at them hissing with eyes all wrong.
Morgan - "Happy birthday, Amelia." she gives her 'The Bag of Plenty'.
Amelia reaches in and pulls out a handful, smiling. Then she looks again to her wide eyes, pulling out another, and another.
...
Amelia rolls in weed (everywhere), laughing maniacally while the rest hold hands. Morgan fluttering her wings, Andromeda holds her egg, Kurukulla et al returned (and for some reason Daphne and Cassandra).
They all take a breath to sing a song, before the screen cuts out with the slam of a book.
Gnome voice - "And that's how I saved the world ! The ! End !"
